Cliff Notes #6 – Rather Be A Hangin’ On

We are witnessing one of those great convergences, where everything suddenly seems to change all at once but is really the end of long-existing and ignored stresses reaching their logical conclusion. Like a house collapsing from years of neglect, each event seems abrupt and random and terrible when it is a miracle it all didn’t collapse years before.

I’ve been picking my way through Taleb’s AntiFragile. As the author meanders his way–often charmingly–around the same basic points a few dozen times, one that sticks with me is the idea of hidden fragility. Not all fragile things simply shatter like porcelain upon the first hard impact. Some behave more like that oak in the yard you always thought a little too close to the house. It’s stood up to a thousand storms and then, suddenly after a minor gust, half the tree is resting on your roof. Or, deeply shaking you, the entire thing uproots while everything around it seems untouched.

An oak is not fragile in the traditional sense. Certainly not in the same way as, say, the fine china you only bring out on holidays. But it does suffer a hidden weakness; it is vulnerable to progressive internal fracturing from stress and damage over a certain level. It is not even particularly vulnerable to this compared other objects. The danger is more that we continue to treat such vast stores of potential energy as remaining invulnerable through these shocks. We continue to live and venture beneath them without much thought or concern, gazing up a few moments after a storm and nodding “ah, all still standing” and thinking perhaps the rake the only tool required in such moments.

But unlike bone, an oak does not grow back stronger than before – it suffers stoically and hides its inner fractures and rot shockingly well. The tree will stand looking mighty and invincible until suddenly it collapses totally. The willow–oft contrasted–is not the anti-oak. We focus too much on what’s above the ground. If we care about integrity, we should look far more to the pith and roots. If we care about resiliency and regrowth, we should start studying the reed and its humble rhizome.

In situations when any green object poking above the surface risks immediate attack, the rhizome thrives and propagates. The reed’s more infamous cousins – bamboo, ivy, kudzu–all use this strategy. So do most taboos currently outside the moment’s Overton window. Stability and tolerance, ironically, often slow the spread and hold these plant to their little walled patches of sunlight and comfort. But faced with elimination, constant stress, violence, damage that destroys its surface matter but swiftly moves on, the rhizome survives to spread and strengthen. When the mighty oak seeks to mimic this strategy as it ages –to suck every last drop from its domain and cement its dominion–and thus changes from its tap root to a root network, it mostly trades depth for breadth and retains or increases its central vulnerabilities. As it becomes ever more top-heavy, such trees become more perfect levers for even the minor gust–their relative grip on the earth become ever shallower and dependent on the status quo. A sudden rain after a drought and the largest trees collapse.

We call the more successful vines and shoots of the rhizomes invasive. That’s another word for winning. If we don’t like what’s winning, we might take a closer look at the environment and soil we’ve cultivated. The root wins in a well-drained nutrient-rich earth where slow strong foundations lead to towering edifices that seize the light and smother thieving opportunists. But upon collapse, a single tree’s fall creates a void beneath it and all that has been suppressed surges. Only then do we noticed the dearth of saplings beneath the old titan. When the surface world remains fresh razed and raw, little outcompetes the organism that grows its bulk underground before even seeking its first light. Within weeks, a tangle of alien foilage – shocking verdant and rendering the landscape unrecognizable.

That’s what we’re facing and fighting this year. The shoots and shootings you see are just now peeking out from vast networks long propagating in soil far too shallow, windblown, and impatient for new oaken artifacts. Stop focusing on the trees. Start looking at what’s beneath your own feet. And what isn’t.

With that in mind, who knew Aerosmith lyrics could age so well?

Livin’ on the Edge

There’s something wrong with the world today
I don’t know what it is
Something’s wrong with our eyes
We’re seeing things in a different way
And God knows it ain’t his
It sure ain’t no surprise

Speaking of aging better than whiskey (in a jar or otherwise):

No Leaf Clover (Metallica live with the SFSO)

Pay no mind to the distant thunder
New day fills his head with wonder, boy

Says it feels right this time
Turned it ’round and found the right line
Good day to be alive, Sir
Good day to be alive, he said, yeah

Then it comes to be that the soothing light
At the end of your tunnel
Is just a freight train coming your way

The Deftones have clearly been paying attention this year:

Pompeji by Deftones

Ooh, we sip from the fountain of intent
And ooh, we choke on the water, then repent

Cliffnotes #5 – Agnosia & Aphasia

The inability to see what is right in front of you. The inability to speak what you wish to say. Both derive from physical and psychological malfunction. Have you heard of these conditions? How prevalent could they be?

What do we think we see today? What would we see if we were able to look? A rise in awfulness? Is that true? Perhaps it is. But compared to when? Compared to whom? Pick a metric and compare.

You might think that is an attack on efforts to improve the world. Consider the flipside. What is worse now than before? What is the same? By what metrics? Understand this and you gain broad perspective–though broad perspective is currently an unpopular form of leverage. If you are not looking at all that you can, why not? What could you be missing? Are you are as informed and clear-eyed as you think you are?

What makes you uncomfortable? What information do you shy away from gathering? Look at that first; it’s likely to be the most important information you can learn. When’s the last time you thought about understanding what your opponents believe? How they see the world? Oh, did you think I said agree with? Ah. Perhaps we’ve gone so far that even to know your enemy has been lost to sight and sound. But perhaps we can still keep them close.

Our magnifying glasses now extend across the world and we peer feverishly. Do we see more now that more is viewed? We sift our streets, skies, homes, blogs, posts, phones for any possible dopamine or adrenaline that can be extracted or induced. We algorithmically tune its automatic distribution to generate maximum consumption for anyone who might possibly be interested, outraged, horrified, frightened, or addicted by all that was once unviewed. Ignorance of viewing is no longer an inadvisable bliss, it is verboten. But what of ignorance of seeing and listening?

The world is, largely, safer, healthier, fairer, and more just than ever. Yet we talk about and think about safety. fairness, and justice more often. We have more standards. We have more alarms set. We don’t really care or think about that. But we hear more alarms. But if you conclude that is alarming, compared to when? Do you have the information you think you have? Did the lack of alarms mean safety? Bells ringing do not indicate danger–they indicate that bells are ringing. Why were they set? Why have they gone off? Has the collection and collation of all present dangers increased the sum of those dangers?

When we walk up to evil and peer at it up close, all in our view becomes evil. When we choose not to look at evil, it goes unseen. Both are optimal conditions for its flourishing and the devouring of good. It’s not so hard to take a step back. What is it you are seeing? Where does it fit into our world?

When that dopamine button isn’t delivering anymore, how soon before we realize we’ve crawled inside it and will attack anything that would pull us away? How soon before we cannot even see or speak of anything else?

Swimming in Schrodinger’s Pool

I might have bought a pool this week. I can’t be sure.

According to multiple pool suppliers I spoke to, the demand for pools has reached an “unprecedented historic” level of demand. I believe it. My own demand is at that level. The pool lady I called was both friendly and slightly panicked. That is an unusually agreeable combination for a customer and one I might want to see a bit more of if not for the cause.

If I did indeed purchase a pool (no credit card charge or shipping confirmation as of yet!), I will responsibly seek to get a town permit to install a pool in my yard. The permit application for an above ground pool is twenty two pages. (And we wonder why there are different political parties).

In order to get a permit, I need to submit detailed plans for my pool “as built”. But I can’t have a pool installed without a permit and I can’t have a permit without a pool installed. It’s Schrodinger’s Pool. I like to swim in it in my mind sometimes.

I’m proceeding anyhow. I’ll figure it out. Or I won’t. And I find that’s a pretty good metaphor for this past week.

Cliff Notes #4: Going to Need a Bigger Bus

It snowed and hailed this May in Massachusetts. Twice. Like the flowers and buds, we are opening while we are closing. We are closing while we are opening. Now who’s ready to go dine with some mannequins?

Or in lyrical form:

Do you really think
That love is gonna save the world?
Well, I don’t think so
I just don’t think so

Oh how to draw the line between wrath and mercy?
Gotta simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer down

So many of us stand in the middle
Looking back to the worst
Looking forward to the fall

You load sixteen tons, what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt

“Father, remove this bitter cup
If such Thy sacred will
If not, content to drink it up
Thy pleasure I fulfill”

Don’t you stop prayin’ for this old world is almost done
Keep your lamps trimmed and burning

I’ll gnaw at anything
New England is mine, and
It owes me a living…

…It’s like a birth but it is in reverse
Never gets better, always gets worse

Oh, I sing a song of freedom when I’m riding
I sing a song of freedom when I’m riding
I sing a song of freedom for every living being
Across the rolling hills, I come riding

Sounds of something beautiful falling apart

Soundtrack of rocketing bombs into a dying sunrise

Bald facing

A good head on your shoulders should make no assumption about your hairstyle. And yet it does. Thinning comes as a betrayal and shock to one’s self-image. Few things strike harder as a “wait, me?” moment.

But like many things, the journey while in doubt or denial is far worse than the destination. The balding man in denial is the Schrodinger’s cat of masculinity, confounding all who consider him. The balding man in acceptance is a testosterone-fueled powerhouse of follicle-destroying bring it on.

Don’t be opening scene American Hustle Christian Bale. At the very least, be Duke Ellington American Hustle Christian Bale. But for most of us, elaborate comb-overs are the diet cola in a supersize meal of personal fashion. You should go bold and go bald. Baldness is an end state. Baldness is certainty. Baldness can be relied upon. All you will ever need again to look sharp is a sharp blade. There is a simplicity there you will come to take for granted. Doubt lost and time gained is increased potential. Mathematically even.

You will never be ready. Just do it is the wisdom you need. Stare into your Nikes and embrace decisive loss. Once you do it, there is only one result: more information. There is no downside. If you shave and hate it, you’ve gained information. But you won’t hate it. Chances are whatever look you had going before was worse. You will shed years and not realize it. You will learn about the underlying bone structures of your literal brain case. You will panic. You will in an instant look and feel more like Lex Luthor than you ever have in your life. You will contemplate an entire alternate existence as a super villain and be surprised at the results. You will ask your significant other a million times what they think but not believe them. You will walk around in circles and try on beanies and face the darkness and wonder why Brady left and suddenly you will walk out in public and people will go “wow, man – dig the head! NICE!”.

Or they won’t and you’ll hate it and your scraggly hair will grow back and people will give you less quietly-judging shit about it and respect you more. Because you will be closer to acceptance. Not a half-cat physics conundrum but a primed for Duke Wellington listening parties man that will never happen but like could happen, like that’s just your opinion man. And that is far superior. Think about that.

So…you’re probably going to want to shave. So how to do it?

Stop thinking. No. No. Stop. Get the clippers and clip it down. Buzz it as short as you can. And then–and this is key–don’t stop then. Bic it. Shave it all off. Commit. This is essential. End the madness. Find the end state. Discover the dinosaur bones you never knew you had–maybe you are a triceratops! That’s cool. Or a Klingon. Buy a phaser. Or a goddamn polished dome of sexiness and panic. Oooh. Regardless, you’ll know.

So what then? Optimize your simplicity.

And this brings us to the very first “Going Over” review: Head Shaving Devices.

Cliff Notes #3: Into the Wind

What limited faith in authority that remains breaks away and drifts into the wind. And yet we carry on.

The Boy in the Bubble opens with new poignancy given the past three months. Move over Lana Del Rey, Emma Ruth Rundle and Chelsea Wolfe are the sirens for our time. It was an effort not to include more by both – expect soon. Palaye Royale is a (careful curation required) punkish rival to Twenty One Pilots and I can’t wait for some epic music video Streets of Rage turf war amidst the further breakdown of non-cyber-punk-America. (bonus points: add muppets!) King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard could play the soundtrack to a Jack Vance novel named the same–I keep waiting for a guy named Cugel to run for office (or has he already?). Orbital’s foldable cities I toss in for times-appropriate brain-expanding overstructured chaos. And if that creates a little lump in your throat, just go with it and see if you can match Altyn Tuu’s tonally phantasma-allegorical throat singing. Just added this entire genre to my Wardruna-heavy playlists. I need to try this as my finishing move whenever a job interview goes south. Who knows what could happen (probably not job offers)! And my pick of the week – AWOLNATION + Weezer is the once flaming now perfectly toasted harmonizing marshmallow chocolate graham cracker we all need. I cannot stop listening.

In closing, why do the recent episodes of Rick and Morty feel more thoughtful, sane, and forward-looking than the leaders of the free world?

A Catskill eagle

Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee; as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness. And there is a Catskill eagle in some souls that can alike dive down into the blackest gorges, and soar out of them again and become invisible in the sunny spaces. And even if he for ever flies within the gorge, that gorge is in the mountains; so that even in his lowest swoop the mountain eagle is still higher than other birds upon the plain, even though they soar.

Herman Melville, Moby Dick

Many whom quote this passage omit the first line. While this broadens the quote, it trims away Melville’s ambivalence. Trim ambivalence at your peril. Ishmael has spent the night staring into the flames and lost all sense for a time. He muses this as he at last comes out of it. That we, too, wish to forget the suffering and sacrifice that accompanies his eagle–and perhaps the hint of over-earnest rationalization–when sharing this passage should tell us much.

Before this quote, Ishmael has just broken free from his mad spell and warns us:

Look not too long in the face of the fire, O man! Never dream with thy hand on the helm! Turn not thy back to the compass; accept the first hint of the hitching tiller; believe not the artificial fire, when its redness makes all things look ghastly. To-morrow, in the natural sun, the skies will be bright; those who glared like devils in the forking flames, the morn will show in far other, at least gentler, relief; the glorious, golden, glad sun, the only true lamp- all others but liars!

Ibid.

To soar out from the blackest gorges. Or perhaps from a particular flame lit cave?

The entire chapter–The Try-Works–is worth a read. And, well, I’d hardly stop there.

Cliff Notes #1: Nothing for Granted

That things can always get worse makes me appreciate the here and now. Each meal. Each laugh. Each beautiful day together.

Taking nothing for granted has deepened my trust and faith and forgiveness in those around me. That’s where my focus will be and stay.